

I might just be sitting here at my bedroom
computer, wearing my flannelette dressing gown and sipping on a mug
of Mint Chocolate Options, but that doesn't mean I can't get out and
see the world. I always tell girls I am very well-travelled, and these
are just some of the places I have visited...
ANDREW '@' WATERS
This is my mate Andrew's webpage, which he forced me to put at the top
of the list, even though I think it's rubbish. We had a bit of a falling
out recently, because I got my website totally redesigned without telling
him. He maintains that his style is much better than mine, but I'll
let you make up your own mind.
MARTYN'S
TEA SERVICE
Fancy a nice warm brew? It's only a few clicks away. Just visit the
site, fill out the form, and my mate Martyn will be straight round to
see you with the perfect piping blend, just how you like it. (Orders
outside North Norfolk may incur a supplementary travel charge, otherwise
it's completely free).
ROY BOY'S SNACK BAR
An empire marches on its stomach, and mine is often full of Roy Boy's. This is the world famous snackbar, by Royal Appointment, whose owner and head chef, Roy, is now Sir Roy. Yes, it really is that good. The only thing that lets it down is his jokes.
MULLED
WHINES
This is Phil Gardner's
blog. Phil's been having an on/off relationship with Dave for several
years. No, Phil is not gay - 'Dave' is just the pet name he's given
his clinical depression.
I have always found depressed people, well, depressing. But I think
Phil is actually rather funny. I hereby appoint him Blogger Laureate
of the Copeman Empire.
THE
ARCHBISHOP OF SOMEWHERE
Sounds pretty mysterious, and he is, because unlike me he values his
privacy. And who can blame him? If you want a load of religious razzmatazz,
you've got the new Pope. But if you want someone a bit more relevant
to what's actually going on, and with lots of cricket references thrown
in, then this is your man. Which is why he's the second most senior
clergyman in the Copeman Empire.
BRITISH
ROYAL FAMILY
A pretty interesting site. This bunch are a lot like the Copeman Royal
Family, but have to live in London most of the time, which can get a
bit smoggy, so I'm told. Contains some good information about how
to act when you meet a monarch (people are always cocking it up
when they meet me). If you're interested in 'royalty' in general, type
the word into Google and you'll end up here.
SHERINGHAM
TOWN WEBSITE
This is my stomping ground... check out this great local site, which
has information on all my favourite local haunts: Dave's 2, Scissorhands,
Nobby's, Roy Boy's, the Salvation Army, the North Norfolk Railway, the
Burlington Hotel, etc, etc... the list goes on.
SHERINGHAM
INDEPENDENT
This is the online version of my favourite local paper. It comes out
fortnightly and includes all the Sheringham news, along with adverts
for local businesses. It's run by Tabi, who is probably the nicest editor
in the British Media - you should see all the perks her delivery people
get - sick pay, holiday pay, Christmas bonus and pressies... I'm half
tempted to apply for a job there myself.
RED
MILL SNACKS
These are the people that make Transfrom-a-Snacks
- about as good as you can get for 10p a bag. There's some particularly
interesting information about Pork
Scratchings on their site too. If, like me, you are always on the
hunt for obscure snacks, click here.
BEESTON
REGIS CARAVAN PARK
The official home of Copeman Palace and Archbishop's Cloisters. Stay
at a caravan park fit for a king and explore Sheringham - the heartland
of the Copeman Empire. I am often to be seen heading round to Baby Face's
van at the park, to watch a bit of TV or play the Chinese Lottery on
Saturday nights.
EBURY
PRESS (RANDOM HOUSE)
Mrs Chell may have given
me an E Minus for my coursework on Paradise
Lost, but as I said at the time, 'What did Milton ever know about
entertainment?' Ebury Press obviously knows the difference, because
they are publishing my own epic
tale, which makes the struggle between God and Satan all seem a
bit trivial. In fact, I'm not really into reading and writing all that
much. Personally, I reckon DVDs
are the way forward, and
the only books I really like are those Audiobook
ones, where someone reads it all out to you, a bit like a bed-time story.
Still, if books are your thing, then you should definitely take a look
at their site.
THE KINGDOM OF PLAYLAND
There are new nations springing up all over the place these days. A while back I received an email from Andreas Teacher MP, who styles himself the 'Prime Minister and Lord Protector of the Kingdom of Playland' (some people live in a bit of a dream land, don't they?) Anyway, it seems I may have sparked a slight diplomatic incident, by suggesting that Bernard Matthew's Turkey Twizzlers are a great invention, and what's all the fuss about? You can see what the citizens of Playland think of them here.
GORDON
GEKKO
Gordon
Gekko is my Number One hero (Julian
Fellowes is Number Two and Jeffrey
Archer is Number Three). Check out the film Wall
Street... I've memorised all the quotes...
and have even had a pair of blue stripey braces made for me by Albert
Thurston, just like the ones they supplied to Michael Douglas for
the film. If you have a question for Gordon, you can ask him here.