People are often asking me what it takes to join the Copeman Empire and, the simple answer is, I haven’t got a clue.

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But people always seem rather disappointed when I tell them there isn’t a system in place for joining the Copeman Empire proper. So, I’ve spent the last few nights coming up with one.

And here it is:

1. Get hold of a copy of King Nicholas and the Copeman Empire
2. Read it
3. Give it to a friend/enemy/stranger
4. Tell them to read it
5. Buy a Zinger Tower Burger from KFC
6. Eat it, while listening to Zadoc the Priest on your iPod
7. Buy a Zinger Tower Burger for a friend/enemy/stranger
8. Watch them eat it while they listen to Zadoc the Priest on their iPod
9. Get a £1 coin and bore the middle out* [See the disclaimer below]
10. Stick it on your finger
11. Change your name by Deed Poll to something snazzy-sounding
12. Eat a 10p bag of spicy Transform-a-Snacks
13. Email me

If you complete Steps 1 to 13 you will officially be a Member of the Copeman Empire. Congratulations. You might get a certificate in the post… or possibly a restraining order.

Now you might say this is all utterly ridiculous. That I’m having a joke at your expense. That no one would ever bother. Well you’re probably right. But there’s only limited space at Copeman Palace, so the membership needs to comprise a select bunch. And I have a funny feeling that if you did all the things on the list, it might end up meaning more than you’d think.

But if it’s not for you, then the Mailing List probably is. The newsletters are a bit sporadic (I think the last one got mailed out in late 2005) but rest assured, if there’s any big news, you’ll be the first to know.

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